Weight Struggle

Prettymuch, since I was about 12 years old, I’ve weighed the same weight. I was never the thinnest, but never the biggest. And while no one ever pressured me about my weight, I’ve always wanted to be the girl who could pick up anything in the store and have it look amazing on her.

I struggled with committing to diets/lifestyle changes for a long time. I mean, I could justify every bite I put in my mouth and make excuses for why I couldn’t get my happy ass off the couch and go outside for some cardio. Also, food is delicious.

ugh.

Let me discuss my weight struggle since being with my love. BTW – I’ve known since about six weeks into the relationship that Chris would be my husband one day.

When Chris and I got together, I was coming out of a long-term relationship and my body decided to drop a bunch of weight. It was weird, because since middle school, I had always weighed within five pounds of the same weight. Whenever I told anyone my weight,they shook their heads in disbelief and said there was no way I could weigh that much. I’ve just been fortunate to be really proportionate… well, except my hips! But, I love them.

Chris and I circa 2008. About  a month after we started dating.

Chris and I become Facebook official. We are happy. We happily go out to eat multiple times a week and go to the movies and eat ice cream and hang out and dont eat vegetables or fruits or walk or anything. And we drink — WAY TOO MUCH — and we eat after we drink because it prevents me from getting a hangover. Neither of us sees the other gaining weight, because we are doing it as a team.

I did not weigh myself in college. I didn’t even step foot on a scale until I got sick a few weeks before graduation and had to go to the health center. It was at that moment I realized I had gained thirty pounds. How did it happen? The usual culprits -please see above. I really didn’t think anything of it before then because I always wore sweatpants and Chris didn’t look too different. However, he had graduated and moved home and I was still in school… so we only saw each other on the weekends.

My pants size did go up, but I was convinced they had just cut smaller styles. Actually, I just went to various stores until I found pants that fit in the size that I usually wore. Seriously, I was in major denial.

Chris and I in 2009. I am wearing my size 12 Old Navy pants. DENIAL.

In May 2009 I graduated and returned home. I began working, but I wasn’t doing much else besides eating and drinking and being happy with Chris. My weight went up another couple of pounds despite my best efforts to watch my diet.

In July, I decided, it was time to get a gym membership. This decision changed my life. I figured, if I am going to pay money every month, I might as well use it. And use it I did. This was exactly the push I needed to begin the process of getting my weight under control.

When I wasn’t seeing the results, I wanted. I decided I needed some extra help on the diet side. In November 2009, I began doing Jenny Craig. I figured, this was a no brainer. Pay and eat food… lose the weight. Also, I had my cousin as my consultant and he would provide me with a little extra motivation since we’re really close.

Once I started doing this, the weight began to come off very slowly. I probably could’ve followed the Jenny plan a little better, but I get bored after a while of doing the same thing. This was zero fun for me but I stuck with it. I even stopped drinking for a while to help push things along. Downside to Jenny is that I am not a big fan of TV dinner style food and the food gets boring very quickly. It took about six months to get back in the neighborhood of my pre-college weight.

So cut to today, I’ve gained about five pounds back after quitting Jenny. However, I started strength training so the added weight could be muscle, fat, or a combination. I’m not a professional… just a bride on a healthy and reasonable mission.

This was taken about two weeks ago.

I’m still not the girl who can go into the store and try on anything, but I’m getting there. Right now, I’m focusing more on strength and tone rather than cardio. But, I am contemplating training for a half marathon to force me to do something completely different.

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2 thoughts on “Weight Struggle

  1. thank you sarah!! it just sucks, but I’ve been trying to not let it affect me too much. and I think you too are gorgeous, amazing, wonderful, and a truly lovely person despite that number on the scale.

    PS can we have a girls night soon?

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